When and how to stop your loved one from driving
The signs that it's time to address driving limitations can vary, but some key indicators include:
Signs It's Time to Stop Driving
Confusion While Driving: Getting lost in familiar places, missing turns, or forgetting the destination.
Poor Judgment: Difficulty making decisions, reacting slowly to traffic signals, or misjudging distances.
Increased Traffic Violations: Receiving multiple tickets, warnings, or being involved in minor accidents.
Damage to the Car: Unexplained dents, scrapes, or damage to the vehicle.
Concerns from Others: Friends, family, or neighbors express concerns about their driving.
How to Approach the Conversation
Prepare for Resistance: Understand that your loved one may resist or become upset. Approach the conversation with empathy and patience.
Choose the Right Time: Have the discussion when your loved one is calm and in a good mood. Avoid having it immediately after an incident or when they're already stressed.
Involve a Trusted Professional: Sometimes, hearing it from a doctor, occupational therapist, or another trusted authority can make a big difference.
What You Can Say
Express Concern for Safety:
“I’ve noticed that driving has become more stressful for you lately, and I’m worried about your safety and the safety of others on the road.”
“I know you’ve been driving for a long time, and I respect that, but I’m concerned about how safe you feel when driving now.”
Emphasize Independence in Other Ways:
“I know giving up driving is a big change, but we can find other ways to keep you independent and mobile. Let’s look into other transportation options together.”
“There are so many ways we can still get around without driving. We can explore public transportation, rideshares, or have someone help with errands.”
Offer Alternatives:
“How about we set up a plan where I or someone else drives you to appointments or the store? That way, you can relax and not worry about the roads.”
“Maybe it’s time to take a break from driving. We can see how you feel about it, and if it works out, we can make it permanent.”
Frame It as a Trial:
“How about we try a month without driving and see how it goes? We can reassess after that and see if it’s something that works for you.”
Following Up
Document Observations: Keep a record of any incidents or changes in behavior related to driving. This can help in discussions with medical professionals. You can track this in the Alzheimer’s Care Partner app by creating a custom symptom you track over time.
Reassure: Continuously reassure your loved one that they are still valued and that this change is to ensure their safety and well-being.
Support Transition: Assist in finding alternative transportation and accompany them to make the transition smoother.
This is a difficult transition, but with compassion, understanding, and careful planning, you can help your loved one make the shift away from driving while maintaining their dignity and independence.
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